Library Sex: Pros and Cons of Getting It On

So… sex in the public library. Many of you likely had no idea that even happened outside of fiction. But it does! And [spoiler alert] it’s usually not hot at all, at least to outsiders! 

During my five years as a librarian, I never interrupted a couple inspired by the 613.9 section of our stacks. I witnessed passionate kissing and ill-advised groping, certainly, but nothing that required contraception, a roll of paper towels, or even a wet wipe.

My coworkers told me stories, though. Oh, so many horrifying stories.

I imagine coming across patrons having sex in the library is much like visiting a nudist colony: Generally, the people you’d most like to see under those circumstances are not those you’ll actually encounter.

As far as librarians themselves having sex at work, I’d guess that happens infrequently. Still, the fantasy remains. We envision a prim-looking librarian removing her horn-rimmed glasses, unwinding her prim bun, unbuttoning her sensible cardigan, and bending over the circulation desk. And even though many librarians don’t fit that stereotype—either because they’re male or not especially demure—the reality doesn’t seem to diminish the fantasy.

So the question is, should I cater to reality or the fantasy of library sex?

In the end, I compromised: My librarian heroes and heroines may make love in the stacks, but they’re not especially prim to start with. And unlike the real-life intercourse seen by my former coworkers, the sex in my stories is HOT.

As a result, some of you may read my books and find yourself eyeing your local library in a whole new way. If so, factors to consider before donning your trench coat and heading for the stacks:

Pros of Library Sex:

  1. If you get stuck for ideas, you can wander toward 613.9 (in nonfiction) or your favorite spicy romances (in fiction). You’re literally surrounded by erotic inspiration!
  1. Circulation desks really are a good height for bending-over-related shenanigans.
  1. Literacy is a turn-on!

Cons of Library Sex:

  1. I’ve seen what patrons do to soft library surfaces. My advice: If those surfaces can’t be completely disinfected, do NOT set your naked ass or other sensitive body parts upon them. Ever. Or else those parts might fall off from some rare disease.
  1. You’ll probably get caught and stopped. Many libraries have security cameras, and librarians pay close attention to amorous-looking couples. Either for their own entertainment or because it’s like watching a train wreck.
  1. And the most important con of all: If you’re interrupted in flagrante delicto, you may literally become a con.

 

Honestly, the reality of sex in your public library probably isn’t that enjoyable. But if the fantasy appeals to you, there are plenty of books—including mine—eager to explore the possibilities. Just slip off those bifocals, take down your bun, unbutton your sensible blouse, and enjoy!

Tips for Having Sex in the Library

If you are trying to spice up your sex life on your college campus, look no further. Tired of having too much privacy? Is your bed too comfortable? Do social contracts feel oppressive? Nadia Cho of Berkeley has the answer. Library sex: because studying is fun. Nadia explains the ins and outs of reference section nookie, and spills all the secrets on how you can too.

Tip 1: Call up a friend do the deed with! You can either let him know upfront you’re going to be desecrating an academic environment together, or you can spring it on him while you’re casually studying together for Shakespeare.

Tip 2: Don’t “finish.” You are not going to want to explain how you damaged valuable artifacts with certain fluids.

Tip 3: Pick a section with books people aren’t going to look up. Luck for you, students would never go to the library to work on a research project.

Tip 4: Actually, on second thought, get busy in the Religion section. Sets the mood right.

Tip 5: Move bookshelves to surround you and your partner. It’s like a bedroom, minus the legality!

Tip 6: Be quiet! You only want a moderate level of pleasure here.

Tip 7: If you hear someone coming, quickly dress and pretend to be looking around the stacks for books. You might actually find something valuable to your future.

Tip 8: If you really want to let loose, reserve one of the classrooms. A professor who needs to use it will be out of luck and you get to reenact your fantasies of hooking up while making shadow puppets in front of the projector.

Tip 9: Follow your dreams. You can’t get it on with your TA in order to ace your exam, so try living out your fantasy with the guy in your class who actually has the grade you want. Immersion learning, right?

Tip 10: If you make the sex worth the risk, it won’t matter if you get caught. You aren’t the first person to have sex on campus. And, you aren’t the first person to get kicked out of college or arrested!

Now, get to it, bookworms.

How to Have Sex In a College Library

A story you may have heard about a legendary alumnus of your fraternity, something you’ve seen in every article that looks something like “Top 10 places on campus to have SEX,” or maybe you and your ex-girlfriend planned on doing it but finals week snuck up on you and then she went to study abroad in Rome where she told Marco, Lorenzo, Antonio, and Bartolomeo that she was only “sort of seeing someone.” (Too soon?)

Forget about all that. This is your time to shine, bro. Many before you have signed their own names in the official Sex Bucket List Hall of Fame. It’s up to you to continue the legacy for your brothers, your friends, and—not your parents because they never had sex. That’s just gross.

But I digress. Being able to say that you’ve had sex in the library is more than just a really cool way to lose at never-have-I-ever, it’s like a rite of passage—worth more points than sex on a boat during formal, but not quite as many as Eifel Towering your TA with your best friend in the professor’s office.  Obviously if you take a girl to formal and you’re dressed up, you’re on a boat, the food’s good, wine’s better… the question isn’t does she want to—it’s where does she want to? (Answer: the roof. Duh.) On the other hand, how likely is it that you’ll be able to Eifel Tower your TA in the professor’s office? Exactly. That’s why you and your buddy have an apartment together.

So you’re probably wondering how anyone can expect you to pull off this stunt in the only quiet place on campus without getting caught. Because let’s face it, you’re a stud. You always have sex, and when you do, it’s unapologetically rough and loud and fucking awesome for both people involved. How can you expect her to be able to contain herself? She is, after all, only human…

Answer: you have a buddy turn all the lights out. People in the library will think the power went out, get freaked out, and then chaos ensues. It’s like an airplane crashing. You know you’re going to die, so you make the best of it by fucking the shit out of whoever’s sitting next to you. This is why you always sit next to a hot chick. You never know when an airplane is going to crash. Or when the power in the library’s about to go out. Or when your TA wants to fuck you and your buddy in the library just for the hell of it.

But I digress, you’re probably wondering how, once you’ve completed your mission, you’ll be able to reach the extraction point. Especially since the hot girl thinks that you’re both going to die anyway and her boyfriend will never find out about this because you’ll be buried beneath a mountain of books that nobody reads. In fact, even if you bring your girlfriend, this can still be tricky, because she probably wants to cuddle. Wouldn’t it be great if there was like a helicopter on the roof waiting to take you to all your bros so you can tell them what happened? Well, my friends, maybe there is. Maybe there is.

And if there isn’t, you can just walk out the front door like nothing ever happened. Duh.

I DID IT IN MY CAMPUS LIBRARY — AND YOU CAN TOO!

When you’re a high school student, your dreams of college are full of debauchery, alcohol, and doing it. Girls fantasize about the plethora of hot older college dudes at their disposal, while guys fantasize about college girls who are ready to experiment.

In reality, college is a lot less hot than you would imagine. When banging does occur, it’s fueled by plastic bottles of vodka and followed by morning after pills and confusion. Girls are going to class in sweat pants rather than mini skirts, and more dudes have beer bellies than six packs.

But, if you’re going to go for the quintessential college experience, you’ve got to get laid in the library. As a senior graduating in a couple of months, I figured it was time to say goodbye to the library, which I went to all of ten times, by getting penetrated in it. Although I’m no stranger to doing it in semi-public educational places, it was actually much easier than I expected.

Schedules Matter

I said that doing it in the library was easy, but that’s because my boyfriend and I specifically chose to get freaky in the library during the first week of the semester. If you go during midterms or finals week, you might end up doing it on top of that nerdy kid in your Chem class. When we went to the library, there were only about 10 people maximum on each floor, and it was very doubtful that anybody reserved rooms the first week of the term. Because of that, we easily slipped into a private study room towards the back corner of the basement that was partially hidden by shelves.

That being said, there was a decent amount of planning that went into this. We didn’t just waltz by the library one day and decide it was as good a time as ever to f*ck among the bookshelves. We’d been wanting to bang in the library for a while, but we knew we had to wait until the beginning of a semester where the library would be the least crowded. We also chose to go to the library slightly later in the evening (around 6 p.m.) where we hoped there wouldn’t be any new classes doing that whole “introduction to the library” type of bs. Lastly, I made sure that I was wearing an outfit that was easy to slip on and off.

Forego The Foreplay

Just because there weren’t a lot of people in the library when we had our little rendezvous doesn’t mean that we weren’t nervous. I mean damn, what if I didn’t get my degree because I got caught fornicating on a limited edition of Hamlet? That would be a bummer. Instead of leisurely taking our time having passionate kisses and oral on a shitty fake-wooden table, we got right down to penetration. I recommend getting yourself going by looking at some porn or erotic fiction, whatever you’re into, while in the library before you start taking your clothes off.

Don’t Get Anything On The Books

Remember when Ludacris sang, “we can do it in the library on top of books, but you can’t get too loud”? I think he was referring to someone who actually had their own library, because I’m pretty sure in any public or university library, someone is going to find you getting railed on top of the encyclopedias and you’ll probably have to pay some sort of fine for having your bare ass on top of classic works of literature.

Instead, utilize the more private areas in your campus library. You could go to the bathroom for extra privacy, but that kind of defeats the whole library feel of things. I would say that the way to go is to find an unreserved study room to do your dirty deed in, because actually getting it on between the shelves seems like you’re just waiting for some old librarian or confused freshman to walk by and take a video for his Snapchat story.

Shh… The F Up

Obviously, you’re going to have to be quiet while you’re in the library. No moaning of your boo’s name or screaming “f*ck me harder.” But also, you don’t need to run around campus bragging to everybody about how you had an orgasm in the library. Definitely, definitely don’t write an article about your experiences and publish it for the world to see. Just because your college seems to be run by a bunch of old white dudes doesn’t mean that they’re not hip to social media or gossip and that they won’t find out about the condom that you left the trashcan next to the Art History section. The only thing worse than getting caught by your university whilst in the act would be to get an angry email two weeks later asking you to meet with the Dean.

Enjoy Threesome with your partner and the Right size Dildo

 

Sexual pleasure has no limits, not even physical, and it is true that the world of erotic toys offers a lot of possibilities. And the strap-on is, without a doubt, one of the most popular accessories for both homosexual and heterosexual antics. The wide range of product choices of this type makes it possible to satisfy all the tastes and also to stop some small problems like the size of the penis or the erection disorders. If you want to learn more about how to insert a dildo here are the keys to reveal.

You may also be interested in: How to use a double dildo

Steps to follow:

This sex toy is quite simple: it is a penis-shaped dildo like the ones you usually see, provided with an adjustable built-in harness that allows placing it around the waist and the genital area to be used for penetration

The strap-on is often associated with lesbian games, because it is widely used by the latter who find the opportunity to enjoy the pleasures of penetration, both active and passive. But this is not the only possibility that this accessory offers: in erotic shops, we find harnesses with hollow dildos for the man to introduce his penis, which can be used to increase the size of the phallus a few cm or to overcome erectile dysfunction boys who still want to give pleasure to their partners.

Moreover, the strap-on, name under which it is known in English, is the best accessory for heterosexual couples curious to experiment pegging, a very fashionable sexual practice and which can be pleasant if the two partners wish to try it.

When choosing and using a strap-on dildo, there are several details that you will need to consider. The first of these concerns the type of harness : you will find two straps, one that is around the waist and the other that passes through the crotch, or with three straps, one that goes around the waist and two others around each thigh, a version offering better control over the dildo and a better comfort.

How to use a strap-on dildo

You can find another version, which is not strictly speaking a “harness” but is sold as such. This looks like an undergarment with built-in dildo, and for some people this version may be more comfortable than those with straps. There are also versions that allow using different sized dildos for anal or vaginal sex.

You will then need to choose the dildo you want to use, and most of them can pull out of the harness and be used independently. In erotic shops, you can find several sizes, with appearances more or less realistic, vibrating or not. The choice will depend on the taste of the protagonists.

The dildo must be of a soft material to ensure more pleasant penetrations, and the most recommended ones are silicone or jelly. If you opt for a vibrating model, make sure it has different levels of intensity, so you can go crescendo, increasing the intensity according to your desires.

Hygiene is a fundamental point, and you will need to wash the dildo before and after use with neutral pH water and soap. If it contains batteries, remember to remove them so that they last longer. In addition, most of these toys are not water resistant, and should be left out for games in the bath, shower or pool.

For more fun, we recommend using an intimate water-based lubricant, and those that are edible can be an excellent choice for oral sex. In the case of anal penetrations, it is important to use these products to increase pleasure, because the anus does not lubricate by itself.

There are versions of dildo-type dildos to put the penis and also more sophisticated and adapted to lesbian games or pegging , which vibrate, with a vaginal dildo that allows both the person who enters that to that which is penetrated to experience maximum pleasure

It can happen that many realizations become monotonous, many couples begin to feel the boredom invade their married life since it lacks innovation on the sex side. It is necessary to find solutions, it is precisely via this deduction that we will present you for this 5 tips while giving special importance to a device that will spice up your sex life which is none other than the strap-on. The life of a couple often loses its importance when the sex life is reached and when the latter is not well managed, if we really want to help, our first advice is then to solve the problem by the root on this same plane as follows:

Use the strap-on

What do you think of a size accessory to stimulate more your sexual antics? Using sex toys could give you more pleasure in bed, hands and language are effective yes, but it is a hot pepper we really need! For that, why not use the strap- on dildo that will allow many things like changing for once the role of the one who inserts. For a straight couple, it is used by women to insert the dildo in the buttocks of the man so that he can also feel the pleasure of a deep hot and erotic pressure. For couples composed of women only, then it is the lack that had to be, feel that each in turn will insert a penis strong, robust and tireless is perfection.

Grab any free moment to make love

It is often said that having children makes us give up many things such as morning grace, couples outings, our money, but most of all, we often say goodbye to making love, at least more passionately and frequently than before. Now, it is hardly remembered that this is part of the life of a couple and the frequency drops to one, twice every two weeks. But why wait so long? Dare to forbid and do it on every occasion because the more it is forbidden, the more exciting it is. If your habit before was romantic in bed for hours at night , know that the passion of the life of a couple can recover with little extra moments when you have a quarter of an hour likely to be free, at living room, in the kitchen, in the garden, as long as we do not see you, why not? Enjoy as much as you can.

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