Library Sex: Pros and Cons of Getting It On

So… sex in the public library. Many of you likely had no idea that even happened outside of fiction. But it does! And [spoiler alert] it’s usually not hot at all, at least to outsiders! 

During my five years as a librarian, I never interrupted a couple inspired by the 613.9 section of our stacks. I witnessed passionate kissing and ill-advised groping, certainly, but nothing that required contraception, a roll of paper towels, or even a wet wipe.

My coworkers told me stories, though. Oh, so many horrifying stories.

I imagine coming across patrons having sex in the library is much like visiting a nudist colony: Generally, the people you’d most like to see under those circumstances are not those you’ll actually encounter.

As far as librarians themselves having sex at work, I’d guess that happens infrequently. Still, the fantasy remains. We envision a prim-looking librarian removing her horn-rimmed glasses, unwinding her prim bun, unbuttoning her sensible cardigan, and bending over the circulation desk. And even though many librarians don’t fit that stereotype—either because they’re male or not especially demure—the reality doesn’t seem to diminish the fantasy.

So the question is, should I cater to reality or the fantasy of library sex?

In the end, I compromised: My librarian heroes and heroines may make love in the stacks, but they’re not especially prim to start with. And unlike the real-life intercourse seen by my former coworkers, the sex in my stories is HOT.

As a result, some of you may read my books and find yourself eyeing your local library in a whole new way. If so, factors to consider before donning your trench coat and heading for the stacks:

Pros of Library Sex:

  1. If you get stuck for ideas, you can wander toward 613.9 (in nonfiction) or your favorite spicy romances (in fiction). You’re literally surrounded by erotic inspiration!
  1. Circulation desks really are a good height for bending-over-related shenanigans.
  1. Literacy is a turn-on!

Cons of Library Sex:

  1. I’ve seen what patrons do to soft library surfaces. My advice: If those surfaces can’t be completely disinfected, do NOT set your naked ass or other sensitive body parts upon them. Ever. Or else those parts might fall off from some rare disease.
  1. You’ll probably get caught and stopped. Many libraries have security cameras, and librarians pay close attention to amorous-looking couples. Either for their own entertainment or because it’s like watching a train wreck.
  1. And the most important con of all: If you’re interrupted in flagrante delicto, you may literally become a con.


Honestly, the reality of sex in your public library probably isn’t that enjoyable. But if the fantasy appeals to you, there are plenty of books—including mine—eager to explore the possibilities. Just slip off those bifocals, take down your bun, unbutton your sensible blouse, and enjoy!